Topic: Anger Management

[GT Pilot]

 When you
> occasionally have a   really bad day, and you just need to take it out on  someone, don't take
>  it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you
> don't know..

I was>  sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd
> forgotten to make. I  found the number and dialed it. A man answered,
> saying >  "Hello."
>
>   I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I  please speak with  Robyn Carter?"
>  Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
> "Get the right
>  f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on
> me.

I couldn't  believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked  down Robyn's  correct number to call her, I found that I had
> accidentally transposed  the last two digits.
>
>  After hanging up with her, I decided to call the
> 'wrong' number again.
>  When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
> "You're  an @$$*0*e!" and hung up. I wrote his number
> down with the word  '@$$*0*e' next to it, and put it in my desk
> drawer.

Every couple  of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really
> bad day, I'd call him  up and yell, "You're an @$$*0*e!" It always
> cheered me up.

>  When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my
> therapeutic '@$$*0*e'  calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and  said,
>  "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone
> company. I'm calling to  see if you're familiar with our Caller ID  Program?"

He yelled  "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I  quickly called him back  and said, "That's because you're an  @$$*0*e!" and hung  up.
>
>  One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull
> into a parking Spot.  Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the
> spot I had   patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that
> I'd been waiting   for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a  "For  Sale " sign in his back window, so I
> wrote down his number.

>  A couple of days later, right after calling the  first @$$*0*e  (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that
> I'd better call   the BMW @$$*0*e, too. I said, "Is this the man  with the black BMW  for sale?" He said, "Yes, it is."

I  asked, "Can you  tell me where I can see it?"   He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in  Fairfax . It's a   yellow cape, and the car's parked right out in  front.". I asked,   "What's your name?". He said, "My  name is Don  Hansen,". I asked, "When's a good time  to catch you,
  Don?". He said, "I'm home every  evening after  five." 

 I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you > something?". He said,   "Yes?" I said, "Don, you're an  @$$*0*e!". Then I hung up,
>  and added his number to my speed dial,  too.

>  Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to
> call.
>
>  Then I came up with an idea. I called @$$*0*e  ..1.
>
>  He said, "Hello.". I said,  "You're an @$$*0*e!"
>  (But I didn't hang up.)
>
 He asked, "Are you still  there?"    I said, "Yeah,"    He screamed, "Stop calling  me,"    I said, "Make me,"    He asked, "Who are
> you?"    I said, "My name is Don  Hansen." 
 
>  He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I  said, "@$$*0*e,   I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd. , in Fairfax , a yellow  cape, I have a black
>  Beamer parked in front."
>  He said, "I'm coming over right now,  Don. And you had better   start saying your prayers."

>
>  I said, "Yeah, like I 'm really scared,  @$$*0*e," and hung  up.   
>
>  Then I called @$$*0*e ..2.   He said, "Hello?" 

>  I said, "Hello,  @$$*0*e,"   He yelled, "If I ever find out who you  are....."    I said, "You'll  what?"   He exclaimed, "I'll kick your  ass,"
>
>  I answered, "Well, @$$*0*e, here's your  chance. I'm coming  over right now."
>  Then I hung up and immediately called the police,  saying that   I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that I  was on my way
>  over there to kill my gay lover.

>  Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war  going down   in  Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax .

>  I quickly got into my car and headed over to  Fairfax . I got   there just in time to watch two assholes beating the
> crap out of  each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead  news helicopter and   surrounded by a news crew..

>  NOW I feel much better. Anger management really  does work !!.
>